Because fuck these guys amirite?
- David Njoku | Here is a snippet from every Browns fan alive circa preseason game one, drive one, 2019,
Drunk Browns Fan – “Holy shit, Browns are going to be unstoppable, Chubb, OBJ, Landry and Baker Bae.”
Stoned Browns Buddy – “Don’t forget Njoku, he’s an athletic freak, he’s gonna be Baker’s redzone threat. He’s gonna eat, the Browns are freaking dope, best team in the north.”
Listen. Njoku is burnt toast. The man couldn’t catch Covid-19 in Wuhan. Not a great offseason for Mr. Njoku either, as he was introduced to Austin Hooper and Harrison Bryant. He’s a don’t touch with a 10′ pole player this year. - OJ Howard | I mean………. Yikes. What happened? I’m fairly certain he tried to get Mrs. Arians into bed and was shot down. It explains where his head was at, and why he was a complete ghost in the Buc’s game plan. If he gets traded he could be interesting this year, but as is, no shot at a roster.
- Vance McDonald | After an offseason of poor man Gronk comparisons from Steelers sympathizers it’s fairly satisfying to see him fall flat. Now you can probably attribute that to Myles Garrett’s bitch and Phil Robertson coming out of retirement as his quarterbacks, but regardless he wasn’t great. His luster has now been lost with the acquisition of Eric Ebron this offseason. He becomes a desperate stream if injuries occur this year.
- Evan Engram | Dude, stay healthy! A lot of hype headed into last season. Flashes a little bit early and then boom hit the brakes, stop the presses, he’s hurt. Now I still believe in the player, but there is no doubt he disappointed quite a few fantasy players last year. He’s such a boom or bust headed into next year. If I drafted him as my TE1 I’d be very tempted to double-dip at TE with my very next pick.
- T.J. Hockenson | High draft pick, check. Good quarterback, check. Coach that values the TE position, check. Injuries to dash his fantasy fans hopes and spirits, check. I like him a lot this year, but good lord was he a tease last year, he had many of us thinking we got a waiver wire steal after week one… Fools.
- Eric Ebron | Mr. Inconsistancy. He literally said F you to everyone that took him or had faith in him last year. Now to be fair Luck’s retirement hit that team like a semi last year, but Ebron was really affected. Him and Jacoby just didn’t seem to have “it” last year. He’s an interesting bounce-back guy this year. He may end up being a solid TE2 late-round target with Big Ben and Company.
- Trey Burton | After the Eagles super bowl run he was everyone’s favorite sleeper TE heading into his first year in Chicago, and boy were they all wrong. He’s been hurt/awful for that entire contract. He signed to play somewhere this year, I’m actually not sure who he signed with, and he’s so bad I really don’t feel like looking him up. Don’t pick him. Don’t even look at him. He had 84 receiving yards last year. That’s a quarter for Kelce… Colts by the way.
- Chris Herndon | How about this for a motherfucker. End of 2018, he gets in a nice little groove with the Jets face of the franchise Sam Darnold. In the offseason, he gets suspended for four games for violating the NFL’s substance-abuse policy. He’s suspended for the first four games of the season, and then the Jets scheduled bye week is week five. So what happens next for all of us that rostered him for FIVE weeks!!?? He gets freaking hurt. Screw Chris Herndon for being such a doucher. I’ll never trust him again.
- Jimmy Graham/Delanie Walker | Here’s a general rule of thumb, if a player was relevant on Madden ’12, ignore them unless their name is Tom Brady. That’s a pretty easy rule, right?