It’s (nearly) official, the Washington Redskins name is out and the Washington Redwolves name is here to take its place.
However… Are we sure this name is acceptable?
Would it be fair to call something red when in fact they are not that?
Its absurd, rude, and most-importantly offensive! It’s an outrage that a former DC franchise named the Redskins would jump back into the controversy and pick a name that not only takes the true identity away from nature’s beauty by naming it something it’s not but assigning a cloud of lies and myths about the wolf that is clearly gray/brown.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I will not stand for this insensitive name change!
Here are a few clearly less-controversial and more culturally appropriate alternatives to the Washington Redskins / Washington Redwolves fiasco that’s unfolding in front of us.
(Note! If you haven’t detected the sarcasm in this post by now, this article probably just isn’t for you)
The Washington Hair Thins
Regardless of your political stance, one thing is for certain… Both thin-haired and orange people do NOT get the recognition that they deserve.
What a GREAT HONOR it would be to those people if there were an NFL team name dedicated to them.
The DC Redskins
A great, non-controversial rename to the ‘Washington Redskins’.
This name alternative should undoubtedly put everyone at ease.
The Washington Whities
Another great alternative to the Washington Redwolves.
The Washington Whities name stays true to one key point. Color. There’s no confusion & misrepresentation here. Napoleon Dynamite is whiter than the driven snow and the perfect silhouette for this racially sensitive naming alternative.
The Washington Caucasians
A crowd favorite.
This simple logo re-design and name alternative honors those greedy old bastards at the top of the NFL food chain, the owners.
Those poor schmucks have had rough lives with all of the kneeling players that they’ve had to suppress, the Johnny Manziels of the league along with the countless player arrests that they have to put the burden of on their own shoulders.
The Washington Caucasians is a direct shout-out to the 30 of 32 NFL team owners who are mayonnaise white.
Have other alternatives to the Washington Redwolves?
Let us know in the comments below!